she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
