12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
