that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
