yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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