Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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