But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
