Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What a dumb baby whore.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
