I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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