i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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