I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize