carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
