Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
