In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
