It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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