you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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