Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
