somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
