Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
