im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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