Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
