I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
