I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My dick has a subreddit
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
