Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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