Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
