I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
