What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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