She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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