I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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