I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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