so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
