I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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