i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
