Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize