Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize