Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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