When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
