Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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