I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
