After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
