It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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