I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
