so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
