I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
