I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
