Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize