You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Drake has all the answers
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
