Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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