that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
