doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
