Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
