You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Randomize
