You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
