oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Alive.
So much puke
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
