just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize