part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
