the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This baby is an asshole
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
