you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize