Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
