so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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