mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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