its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
nutella sex= disaster
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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