If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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