we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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