They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
