Acid is not a monday night drug
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
