is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
