My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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