cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
