just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize