I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
